There have been times in my professional career that emotional energy has come out and caused uncomfortable and unproductive space to be created. Part of the reason stemmed from a few things:
1. Negative critiques of my work was taken personally instead of seen as a sign a need was unmet.
2. Uneasy feelings were allowed to fester insted of following internal instincts to create open conversation and describe what is happening.
3. I engaged in "clique" conversations and treated others badly.
Depending on the project and the amount of time invested #1 can be difficult. My own need stemmed from a high expectation of self. Not having anything to do with external persons hearing "This isn't what I want" was received quite negatively because that means my bar was set too low. It creates a cycle because I think "Isn't my expectation level high enough already?"
Many persons in the advocacy, nonprofit world have a "pleaser" personality. They don't want anyone to be angry or create conflict - ever. This is a large misnomer, however, because a certain amount of conflict is constructive and, frankly, necessary for a team to get things done. It's actually inherent in our system of democracy where one group always seems at odds with another. Supposedly, as we have "discussions" about dialogue-points we arrive at the best "middle-ground" solution. Sometimes, that doesn't always translate so well into reality.
#3 can be very difficult to get over, especially if in the political world where dreams are attached in groups. If one is unwilling to play "the game" there are limited opportunities. At least, that is the initial perception when in reality, many are thirsty for ethic and value-driven success. Remaining true to a worldview and a humanitarian principle is foremost for all public servants who should always have the constituency in mind. It is not a self-calculated, best-case scenario which one sculpts, espectially because if it conflicts with the interests of the constituency it is contrarian to the role.
Hearing all of these on an ongoing basis has been quite helpful. It's not about one person, but achieving a higher potential for the public. Material or status gain should never be placed before the needs of so many who feel alone and unheard.
