Because of the traveling and life changes that have been taking place I don't now stop very often. Stop to review how I engage with others and what expectations exist for their behavior. It's of no suprise that there tend to be themes which emerge in relationships and they tend to be projected into infinity.
Recently, I've experienced a stronger party in our relationship requiring my listening and care. This can be challenging, and even outright awkward, because this isn't the role to which they've been assigned.
When I am speaking to those whom I've known for a signficant amount of time topics ususally are understood in advance. The balance of the relationship hasn't generally changed in years and the "needy" person tends to be me. That's not said in a negative manner. Just understanding that because either of socialization, worldview or the like there are issues that require discussion and input others may not need. It means no more, no less.
Life changes, death and mounting unhappiness, can quickly alter what has been a pretty comfortable role. I am aware of any prejudgments that are made of any person with whom there is a long lasting relationship and their current requests. The present is based on the historical in my expectation. However, when it is clearly voiced that someone needs attention in a different way my style must be malleable. These need not be overly profound in nature.
As an exampole, when my brother told me he was playing the piano my first response was to laugh. Why? He is the uber masculine athlete within our relationship. Perhaps that means I don't view him as overly creative or "production" oriented in terms of his culture. That's, to say the least, very reductionist and unfair but the honest truth about my point of reference when we speak. Just as it becomes annoying when my entire existence is reduced to dating, or free time, preferences the very same applies in his case. Not being willing to allow freedom of movement is stifling, even if it's not intended to do harm.
