There are, unfortunately, instances when we must work with toxic individuals. This can be defined as either a personality or action related orientation. Sometimes, those with whom we work can change due to vertical movement in a company and perceptions of “leadership.” Often times, with a little communication even these individuals can be managed and the damage they cause mitigated.
Perhaps the first step is to acknowledge that someone with whom we must work is toxic. This can vary from person to person but generally it is someone who; reduces all ideas to negated parcels, brings only “cannot” notions to the table or is incompetent to assess a working environment in the present. Notice, the word bad or good was never used. These tend to cast an unrealistic shadow on individuals. Speak of them as good and nearly all they do is golden. If they are deemed bad there are no tasks for which their particular personality is suited, which just isn’t true.
Beyond this step this is an exercise in listening more than speaking. Take the time to hear what causes them concern and what the reason may be. It is quite surprising, even at this point, to find out that the main cause for heartache is a root feeling of fear. Fear of being outranked, maneuvered or asked to do something out of the ordinary. We typically don’t listen to individuals in a work environment. Whenever someone says “Hello, how are you?” the response is automatic, “I’m doing ok, how about you?”
Conversations and communication in general, doesn’t tend to be authentic. Take the time to listen for cues about fear or personal preferences to which you haven’t been exposed. The individual who may have scared you by wielding their “influence” as a superior may, at root, doubt their own fear. You cannot change anyone else (stated poignantly in the book “Toxic People) but only how reactions to their behavior are channeled. Manage these individuals quickly and learn to diffuse any negative relationships with a working ability before they turn into political factions in the office.
